Daniel S. Irwin – Cajun Mutt Press

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 05/17/24

May 17, 2024 James D. Casey IV

Snippets of Dubious Wisdom # 4

I guess being born and raised
In an exotic land far away
Does affect one’s outlook on life.
Maybe that’s why East and
West coasters both think we
Midwesterners are a bit weird.

They say there’s a chance that
China may hit us with a nuclear
Bomb some day. That’s silly.
The Russkies done called dibs
On that years ago.

It is the normal procedure
In critical thinking to consider
Both sides of a case/argument,
Then, ignoring logic and truth,
Totally disregard one view and
Swear to god that the mind-set
You chose is the stuff of factual
History.

Mister Squashed Possum says,
“Crossing the road is easy.
Avoiding the traffic is the hard
Part.” (Flattened Bunny agrees.)

There have been times that
I’ve been called a fool. Then,
This fool realized that ‘fool’
Was just a matter of opinion.
Suddenly, I was no longer ‘the’
Fool but surrounded by many.

Faith

I wind up in this church
Where, for communion,
Everyone sips from a
Large communal cup.
After one takes a sip,
The priest wipes the
Rim of the cup and
Turns it a bit for the
Next person’s sip.
When the old lady
Just ahead of me
Left a string of slime
Dangling from the
Cup’s edge to her lips,
I figured that was it
For me. I’m not sipping
From that cup, even if
They wiped it with
Jesus’s underwear.
Underwear?

Born Curious

I was born curious
And, while being
Strapped in, I just
Had to ask the man
At the switch, if we
Were to be using
Alternating or direct
Current. No answer,
Just a spark, a hum,
And a frying sizzle.
Do I smell bacon?

Daniel S. Irwin (artist, actor, writer, soldier, scholar, priest) is still in hiding in the hills of Southern Illinois and doing a damn good job of it considering no one is looking for him. Which, in itself, is a change considering some of the things in which he’s been involved. Yes, no longer the gun-for-hire mercenary, smuggler, counterfeiter….don’t print that. Author of seventeen books, work published on-line, in magazines and journals world-wide. Latest work can be found on Horror, Sleaze, Trash Magazine, Beatnik Cowboy, The Asylum Floor, Rye Whiskey Review, and Cajun Mutt.

CMP Featured Writers March 2024

March 1, 2024March 1, 2024 James D. Casey IV

We’ve entered March, it’s starting to warm up outside, and Night Owl Narrative No.3 is officially available!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CVF469HX
(Links to 1 & 2 will be in the comments.)

Issue No. 3 Contributors:

Ben Holland, John Burroughs, Blu K. Boss, Scott Laudati, Jay Passer, A.L. Locke, Michael Duckwall, Ron Whitehead, Jim Murdoch, Wayne F. Burke, Ryan Quinn Flanagan, Joe Szalinski, Efe Tusder, Randy Barnes, Roy Duffield, Dan Flore III, LB Sedlacek, William Teets, William David Pollard, Robert Ragan, Dan Denton, Heath Brougher, Dee Allen, Lynn White, Wendy Cartwright, Sanjeev Sethi, Daniel S. Irwin, Austin Burrows, Wolfgang Carstens, Merritt Waldon, Jonathan S Baker, Rob Azevedo

Details about issue 4 coming soon! All I need to do is button up a few things, and it’ll be ready for April. Michael Duckwall’s artwork will be on the cover!!

7.2 SkullQuake by Michael Duckwall is also available!! Brother Duck offers up pieces of his soul in artistic and poetic form in this beautiful little chapbook! You can get in touch with him for a signed copy or follow this link to find it on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CVG31R8S

I’m also about to start working on the rest of the book manuscript submissions! I wanted to get a few copies of the magazine under my belt first. You’ll be hearing from me soon if you’ve sent one. Hold Fast.

Below is the list of this month’s featured writers. Send 1-3 poems to cajunmuttpress@gmail.com to be considered for a spot. Send work for Night Owl Narrative to the same email. I’m taking art, short stories, flash fiction, poetry, photography, columns, articles, interviews, etc for the magazine. Anything Goes. Please include a bio and author photo with ALL submissions!

Y’all Keep Kicking Ass Out There!

Big Love, Write On,
JDCIV
🤟💀📚
🦉🎟️🦇

CMP Featured Writers, March 2024:

Still Life With Cyclops (an ebook)
by Jay Passer
03/01/24

Last Scramble
by Jay Simpson
03/04/24

Ring in the New
by Wayne Russell
03/06/24

sun up
by Botched Resignation
03/08/24

Vernon Vernon Vernon
by Wendy Cartwright
03/11/24

But isn’t this how
by Katrina Kaye
03/13/24

Rock Poets
by David Alec Knight
03/15/24

Love Is A Butcher
by Rob Azevedo
03/18/24

Leave The Light On
by JDCIV
03/20/24

Some Guy
by Dan Provost
03/22/24

A One-Trick Pony does the Moonwalk
by Jim Murdoch
03/25/24

Heaven’s Gate
by Ryan Quinn Flanagan
03/27/24

Finding New Ways to Eat Shit & Smile
by Danny D. Ford
03/29/24

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 02/26/24

February 26, 2024February 26, 2024 James D. Casey IV

I Think I’m Ready

When I die,
I shall go to
Heaven.
Unless I die
On a weekend.
In which case,
Just leave me
At the club
Until Monday.
Don’t wanna
Miss anything.

Always

There’s always
The possibility
Of what I say
Being misinterpreted
Or meaning being
Misunderstood,
Articulation and
Rancor being a
Regional and social
Underlying nuance.
It often becomes
A necessary
Inconvenience to
Have to follow-up
My rhetoric with
Physical action.
Whenceforth comes
The inability to
Clearly understand
The intended meaning
Of “Are you a natural
Moron, or did you take
Lessons.”

The Last Pussy

The last pussy I had
Came with a jealous
Boyfriend and his shotgun.
Fortunately, he showed up
After I’d left. I didn’t need
No confrontation. Snatch
Wasn’t all that good anyway.
I was just being a gentleman
Helping her over the blahs
Brought on by too much same.
Used to splash tequila on our
Dicks while whoring in Mexico.
I don’t know if it did any good.
I never caught nothin’ but my
Runnin’ buddy had to get the
Mallet smash to the penis to
Break up those painful pustules.
Good reason not to share women.
I have been thinking of changing
My ways and becoming a priest.
I have been wondering what the
Hell made me even consider that.
I know my processor is abnormal.
Head scan showed as much. I got
Those folds missing on the back
Of my brain. Slick like melon.
The docs thin it’s bizarre. Me?
I’m having another beer.

Daniel S. Irwin resides, for the time being, in the hills of Southern Illinois. Artist, actor (30+ stage plays, over 100 films), writer (work published world-wide), soldier (retired military), scholar (BA, MA, PhD), and holy man (ordained Dudeist priest 2007 – and damned proud of it). To date, seventeen books published (poetry and short stories), most recent book: Still Wanted in France. Latest work can be found on-line in Horror, Sleaze, Trash Magazine, The Beatnik Cowboy, The Rye Whiskey Review, Cajun Mutt Magazine. The asylum from which he escaped does not want him back…ever.

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 12/25/23

December 25, 2023 James D. Casey IV

My Christmas Poem

I bought this Christmas present
For the next-door neighbors,
Lovely couple. It’s one of those
Things two can share. I’m really
Hoping they make good use of it.
I could leave it on their doorstep
Or somewhere on the back porch.
If I dared, I’d sneak it in and put it
Under their tree like it’s from Santa.
I’ll probably just put it in the mail.
Fictitious name and return address.
Don’t want ’em to know it’s from me.
With all their endless fighting and their
Complementary totally belligerent
Attitudes, I don’t need them thanking
Me in person for the butcher knife.
Just settle their fuckin’ differences
And give us some peace on earth.

Daniel S. Irwin was born, raised, and is back in town at Sparta, Illinois. His card reads: Artist, Actor, Writer, Soldier, Scholar, Priest. He has won awards for his art, acting (over 100 films and 30+ stage productions), writing (nine books and work published in over one hundred magazines and journals world-wide), retired military (Air Force and Army), graduate of Southern Illinois University/Carbondale and has attended four other universities), and is an ordained Dudeist priest with a Ph.D. in Divinity (not bad for a heathen). Once worked as a medic in an institution for the criminally insane…but didn’t notice anything strange about the inmates. Latest on-line work can be found on Horror, Sleaze, Trash Magazine and Beatnik Cowboy. He would love to move back to Europe but fears the plague.

Check out Brother Dan’s permanent AD spots on CMP!

Writer Page
Actor Page

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 10/30/23

October 30, 2023 James D. Casey IV

It’s a Comin’

Hot damn! It’s a comin’!
My favorite holiday: Halloween.
Yes sir, gonna have me a good time.
I always have a good time on Halloween.
Yup, great holiday, spooks, masks, parties.
Night time parades through the streets.
Door to door trick-or-treatin’ for candy.
Those withered apples from the old folks.
I give out dog turds. Ran out last year.
Used to soap those windows, scare little kids.
Once threw water balloons on the parade.
The National Guard chased us for blocks.
That really had our little hearts a poundin’.
I remember tying up that sissy boy Steve
To a parking meter front of the movie house.
He bawled and bawled but nobody untied him.
Everyone thought it was a Halloween act.
Got older, Halloween parties at the bars.
Wild women there but ya gotta unmask them
Before you get shocked by their ugly ass later.
The men ain’t no prize either
But you could always just leave your masks on
While doin’ the nasty in the parking lot.

Check out Brother Dan’s permanent AD spots on CMP!

Writer Page
Actor Page