Tag: sarcasm

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 05/17/24

James D. Casey IV

Snippets of Dubious Wisdom # 4

I guess being born and raised
In an exotic land far away
Does affect one’s outlook on life.
Maybe that’s why East and
West coasters both think we
Midwesterners are a bit weird.

They say there’s a chance that
China may hit us with a nuclear
Bomb some day. That’s silly.
The Russkies done called dibs
On that years ago.

It is the normal procedure
In critical thinking to consider
Both sides of a case/argument,
Then, ignoring logic and truth,
Totally disregard one view and
Swear to god that the mind-set
You chose is the stuff of factual
History.

Mister Squashed Possum says,
“Crossing the road is easy.
Avoiding the traffic is the hard
Part.” (Flattened Bunny agrees.)

There have been times that
I’ve been called a fool. Then,
This fool realized that ‘fool’
Was just a matter of opinion.
Suddenly, I was no longer ‘the’
Fool but surrounded by many.

Faith

I wind up in this church
Where, for communion,
Everyone sips from a
Large communal cup.
After one takes a sip,
The priest wipes the
Rim of the cup and
Turns it a bit for the
Next person’s sip.
When the old lady
Just ahead of me
Left a string of slime
Dangling from the
Cup’s edge to her lips,
I figured that was it
For me. I’m not sipping
From that cup, even if
They wiped it with
Jesus’s underwear.
Underwear?

Born Curious

I was born curious
And, while being
Strapped in, I just
Had to ask the man
At the switch, if we
Were to be using
Alternating or direct
Current. No answer,
Just a spark, a hum,
And a frying sizzle.
Do I smell bacon?

©2024 Daniel S. Irwin All rights reserved.

Brother Dan

Daniel S. Irwin (artist, actor, writer, soldier, scholar, priest) is still in hiding in the hills of Southern Illinois and doing a damn good job of it considering no one is looking for him. Which, in itself, is a change considering some of the things in which he’s been involved. Yes, no longer the gun-for-hire mercenary, smuggler, counterfeiter….don’t print that. Author of seventeen books, work published on-line, in magazines and journals world-wide. Latest work can be found on Horror, Sleaze, Trash Magazine, Beatnik Cowboy, The Asylum Floor, Rye Whiskey Review, and Cajun Mutt.

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 02/26/24

James D. Casey IV

I Think I’m Ready

When I die,
I shall go to
Heaven.
Unless I die
On a weekend.
In which case,
Just leave me
At the club
Until Monday.
Don’t wanna
Miss anything.

Always

There’s always
The possibility
Of what I say
Being misinterpreted
Or meaning being
Misunderstood,
Articulation and
Rancor being a
Regional and social
Underlying nuance.
It often becomes
A necessary
Inconvenience to
Have to follow-up
My rhetoric with
Physical action.
Whenceforth comes
The inability to
Clearly understand
The intended meaning
Of “Are you a natural
Moron, or did you take
Lessons.”

The Last Pussy

The last pussy I had
Came with a jealous
Boyfriend and his shotgun.
Fortunately, he showed up
After I’d left. I didn’t need
No confrontation. Snatch
Wasn’t all that good anyway.
I was just being a gentleman
Helping her over the blahs
Brought on by too much same.
Used to splash tequila on our
Dicks while whoring in Mexico.
I don’t know if it did any good.
I never caught nothin’ but my
Runnin’ buddy had to get the
Mallet smash to the penis to
Break up those painful pustules.
Good reason not to share women.
I have been thinking of changing
My ways and becoming a priest.
I have been wondering what the
Hell made me even consider that.
I know my processor is abnormal.
Head scan showed as much. I got
Those folds missing on the back
Of my brain. Slick like melon.
The docs thin it’s bizarre. Me?
I’m having another beer.

©2024 Daniel S. Irwin All rights reserved.

Brother Dan

Daniel S. Irwin resides, for the time being, in the hills of Southern Illinois. Artist, actor (30+ stage plays, over 100 films), writer (work published world-wide), soldier (retired military), scholar (BA, MA, PhD), and holy man (ordained Dudeist priest 2007 – and damned proud of it). To date, seventeen books published (poetry and short stories), most recent book: Still Wanted in France. Latest work can be found on-line in Horror, Sleaze, Trash Magazine, The Beatnik Cowboy, The Rye Whiskey Review, Cajun Mutt Magazine. The asylum from which he escaped does not want him back…ever.