Gentle S.C. Dragona – Cajun Mutt Press

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 02/02/24

February 2, 2024February 2, 2024 James D. Casey IV

OUR WARS

A long time ago ...
couple weeks, I reckon
(shortly after Empire)
In a galaxy right down the block
Lived an emotionally immature genius brat, by the name of Anakin Skywalker

Always thinkin' 'bout 
     Padamay's fine ass self
and never accepting the fact
   that when you're dead, 
       you're fucking dead
Kid, get over it!

But no
Prolly 19 years old 
  and this dude thinks
some stank-ass evil old man, 
a godpoundin' politician 
   no less, is gonna save
       his lady love from dying
when she spurts out
       his blessed youngins

Eventually!

In this war of ours
We've got your
  emotionally immature    
     Darth Vader
Henceforth to be known as
    the Galactic Baby Slasher
          on the right!

And a hi-tech, yet always 
    getting their ass kicked   
        Rebellion, with a few 
    broke ass struggling Jedi 
on the left!

Now, 
 it's gonna be a good battle
   cuz both sides know Kung-fu
So you gotta dig: 
 The real battle is    
    Galactic Baby Slasher
       vs. The Rebellions poverty

You know it's gonna be 
  a damn good fight
   cuz Obi-One and Luke 
      are all about whipping ass 
           and taking names later,

and so it is too 
      with that fucker Darth Vader

Now, 
Baby Slasher's gotta lotta clout
what with being 
the Emperor's bitch and all
Plus, he can stop lasers
 with his hand, 
    so it's exceptionally difficult 
       to whip his ass

What the Rebellion's
 got going for them
   and they don't even know!
is that Obi-One
 done learned 
   the Jedi secret 
     to immortality

You see, Yoda taught his ass
   that technique right after Anakin became Palpatine's – a.k.a. Darth      
       Sidious's -- bitch

So what do these 
 old school Jedi do
   with their gift of immortality?
Welp, they guide Luke's 
 semi-educated ass 
   through these wars 
   so he don't end up     psychopathic
like his pappy

For as Jay and Silent Bob
     had to remind his ass:
he never even fucking
       finished Jedi school!!!
That's important
 for a Jedi Master 
    to remember,
cuz Yoda could've whipped Luke's ass, when he was a good healthy five-fitty, 
       or prolly even when
 he was straight up 50,
so the lesson simply is:
 Never fuck
        with the Maestro

But let me digress
The last thing we need
is Luke 
 tryin' to take 
   Yoda's ass on

It's bad enough that he's got a pappy that's a baby slasher
so let's cut the young Jedi
   some slack
Luke's got some 
 emotional problems too, 
   so let us praise the Good Lord Thy Goddha!!! or The Force, that they ain't nearly as detrimental as his pappy's was

Luke's just kinda shot out
  cuz he knows his pappy
    is the Galactic Prick
      known as Darth Vader
Also, he's never been laid, 
  and after he finds out
Leah's his sister
      he's gonna have 
some emotional problems
when he thinks back 
on how he used to   
   fantasize about porkin' her ... yep

So let us cut the young Jedi some slack, alright
I'm almost sure 
if we could convince
 Han Solo into taking Luke to a 
     First-class galactic bordello,
he could release all his pent up sexual frustrations, 
and thus let       
      The Force
flow smoothly through his blessed heart

Take care of that little problem
and The Dark Side
   best look the fuck out!

You don't even know!
the cosmic glow
the power conveyed
when a Jedi get's laid!

You don't even
   muthafuckin' know!!!

So go on now and tell 
   your brothers and sisters,
your mammy and pappy,
    your friends and neighbors
that they gots to check out
               
                  Our Wars

Coming Soon 
   To A Hood Near You

Known since 2008 as Da Honky Wit Seven Names, Gentle Dragona is an American Poet, Lyricist, Mystic Stranger, and Bloody Dirty Dancing Dervish. He authored the underground collection of 69 poems in 1998 – IN DREAMS WE HIDE – published by Arkansas Writer’s Press; and the book CUSS! The Ancient and Transcendental Art of Hangin’ Out, in 2005, published by AuthorHouse.

Da Honky’s seven names are Eric Kristian Willey Gentle Shokya Candalla Dragona. He resides in his adopted town of Austin, Texas.

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 10/06/23

October 6, 2023 James D. Casey IV

THE SIRENS OF AUSTIN

Bam!
A hypochondriac done stubbed his toe
And thus spoke the Sirens of Austin

Holy shit!
Fifteen idiots just ate concrete
After taking big hits of K-2
And thus spoke the Sirens of Austin

Oh no!
Some broke-ass crack ho
Just faked her own accident
in the grocery sto’
And thus spoke the Sirens of Austin

Oh God!
This dick just stepped in front
of a moving car
(and yes, car had the right of way)
Hoping for that payment
And thus spoke the Sirens of Austin

This is a tribute to the EMTs
That deal with this bullshit everyday

If I were a killer
They’d all be on my list
For free!!!
Including the hypochondriac

And thus spoke
The Sirens of Austin

Known since 2008 as Da Honky Wit Seven Names, Gentle Dragona is an American Poet, Lyricist, Mystic Stranger, and Bloody Dirty Dancing Dervish. He authored the underground collection of 69 poems in 1998 – IN DREAMS WE HIDE – published by Arkansas Writer’s Press; and the book CUSS! The Ancient and Transcendental Art of Hangin’ Out, in 2005, published by AuthorHouse.

Da Honky’s seven names are Eric Kristian Willey Gentle Shokya Candalla Dragona. He resides in his adopted town of Austin, Texas.

Cajun Mutt Press Featured Writer 07/05/23

July 5, 2023 James D. Casey IV

OH JOY, A NEW CULT!!!

Not getting any?
Stuck in a dead end job?
Poverty got ya by the balls?
Do the few lovers you find
     turn out to be psychotic?

Does it seem as if a sadistic higher power
     is working your last nerve?
Think a bit too much?
My funky brethren, I know all about it

If any or all of these problems
     has plagued your life
I'd like to take this opportunity
to introduce you to a brand new cult:
     The Cult of the Goc

That's right folks, The Cult of the Goc
The G.O.C., ladies and gentlemen
The God of Circumstance
The newest and coolest 
       disposable god ever

Tired of your conventional cult demanding
       so much of your time and energy,
all to worship their god which you
     still aren't fully convinced it even exists?

Well, Here at The Cult of the Goc
     each member gives worship to the
Great God of Circumstance
     whenever the hell they feel like it

But that's just the beginning!
Not only do cult members find it       unnecessary to fear The Goc
When things just aren't going right, it's common practice to cuss The Goc out
       for being such a fucking sadist

Not only is this a therapeutic 
   and liberating practice
You also don't get struck by lightning either

Now it's not all deity cussing down here 
       at The Cult of the Goc
though we do hold the practice
        in high regard
No folks, we cult members understand
     that The Goc is schizophrenic
Not unlike the God of the Old Testament

Thus we like to keep things simple
by identifying the 2 primary natures
       of our disposable god
which we dubbed The Gloc and The Bloc

The Gloc is 
       The Good Lord of Circumstance
which we love and worship
        and say thank ya to
The Bloc is 
       The Bad Lord of Circumstance
which we hate, cuss, and say fuck ya to

"So what will The Cult of the Goc
give me that all those other cults lack?"
You're probably asking yourself (as any  
        wise cult shopper would)
Well, our cult members are wise enough 
       to not cling
             to their love or hate 
                   of our Goc
						 
As we know that 
       The True God of the Universe
has nothing to do with
       our global human soap opera
for It is the One Without Another
   residing in Eternity, Unmoving, Unborn
Pure Conscious Omniscient Imagination

Creating stars and the space between
    by the Great Law Three
       and Its Seven Vibrations

We seek to go back there
       back Home

Da Honky’s seven names are Eric Kristian Willey Gentle Shokya Candalla Dragona. He resides in his adopted town of Austin, Texas.