alcoholic – Cajun Mutt Press

Things I Googled After My Last Living Uncle Finally
Drank Himself to Death Just After Christmas

–Average regular funeral cost in this Year of Our Lord

–Cost of most basic cremation for people who can’t afford regular funeral

–Can I have my ashes scattered on Hank Williams, Senior’s grave

–Can I scatter them on Hank Williams’s grave legally

–If caught scattering my ashes on Hank Williams’s grave illegally what happens to

the person who scattered me hypothetically

–Penalty for stealing a corpse and setting it on fire outside Joshua Tree was

–Penalty for setting corpse on fire outside Joshua Tree is now

–Greatest hits (did you mean Gram not Graham Parsons—disambiguate)

–YouTube Flying Burrito Brothers videos (playlist approx. 1:43:36)

–How do you actually drink yourself to death and how long does it take (Mayo Clinic)

–YouTube: Best of Intervention Season 12 (playlist approx. 6:27)

–Alcoholism addiction causes (nature versus nurture current research)

–Addiction causes experts role of lack of connection complex childhood trauma

–Use of humor to deflect childhood trauma how bad is it really

–Alexa: how do I forget what I want to forget and remember what I need to remember

–No Alexa I said “remember” not “cucumber” not that kind of recipe

–Okay Siri then: to what extent am I my own person? How trapped am I in my past? How trapped am I in the things that happened sixty years ago, the night their mother slowly bled to death drunk on the floor, their father drunker next to her, her blood slowly rusting on his raw-knuckled hands? How to free myself of this mirage, this image concocted of vague description still clearer to my mind’s eye than anything I’ve ever actually seen in the flesh?

–Response: Your search did not match any documents please try different keywords/more keywords/fewer keywords/more general keywords/check your spelling/good luck/you are going to need it/Season’s Greetings and Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate/With the Warmest Wishes for the Happiest of New Years

Joanna Grant is a Cajun mutt, as her father was born on the Gulf Coast near New Orleans and her mother came from Georgia. She currently lives and works outside of Doha, Qatar, where she teaches college extension classes to deployed American soldiers. Her most recent collection is Adrift from Alien Buddha Press.

No TB – Please

The seats are all vacant and
my rum-shaken morning legs need a rest.

The laundromat waiting area sometimes doubles
as a staging area for crackheads and bums
as they ponder how to spend the rest of their day.
I grab the attendant’s spray bottle and wipe
a chair down to avoid transferring the sweaty
residue of the last crackhead onto me.

Across the street, a sidewalk sleeper is rousted
by the 7/11 clerk – GO! LEAVE NOW!
He staggers over and plops across from me –
coughing up tuberculosis into his cloud of stink –
his flying spittle spangled with flecks of red.
A trembling sip from a paper bag calms his coughing fit.

My foot lands with a slap thud on the tile when I
uncross my legs and jump up.
After all the care I took to wipe clean the chair
it seems like such a waste to lose it.
Now I’ll go stand in front of the drier –
entertained by the circular tumble of my socks.

Thirty-seven minutes to go.

Hugh Blanton

Hugh Blanton combs poems out of his hair during those moments he can steal away from his employer’s loading dock. He has appeared in The Rye Whiskey Review, Dope Fiend Daily, As It Ought To Be, and other places. He lives in San Diego, California.