happy halloween
i wanted to be superman or
batman, something badass
or spooky
but growing up in the midwest
in the 80’s, halloween always
came with a winter coat
and no one can look like a
badass bundled up, especially
with mittens on
oh, the fucking mittens
and being the fat kid was
always the worst
i always felt the older kids
were always eyeing my bag
tubby over there has all the
good candy, which i did
eventually, i became one
of those older kids
going to houses well into
my teens, usually drunk
i had a father ask me
what was i this year?
i said your daughter’s
worst nightmare
he didn’t care for how
quickly that line came
out of my mouth
six years later, i was
paying for her abortion
happy halloween
like some fucking sociopath
i remember being bored in class
the day after halloween and i
decided to make up the story
that i found a razor blade in
my halloween candy in an
apple someone gave me
little did i know the principal
would be calling the cops and
they asked me to tell them
all the houses i went to
i started to ramble off addresses
like some fucking sociopath when
my parents showed up and pulled
me aside and asked me what
the fuck was i doing?
i started to laugh and said never
send me to these boring ass
classes again
i told the cops i was lying,
just having fun
they asked my father if they
should arrest me to teach me
a lesson
i told them don’t bother
he’ll try to beat the shit out
of me later tonight
as an adult
halloween as an adult
gets a little tricky
i never got into good
enough shape to play
all the kinky games
my imagination wants
to with some slutty nurse
or some elvira looking
whore that wants to see
how many times her
fishnets can go around
my head
but the darker side of shit
the penchant for death,
chaos, mayhem
that certainly is fucking
appealing
especially now that those
cold midwestern halloweens
of my youth, are now these
summer will never fucking
end, hotter than shit for ohio
at this time of year
i don’t give out candy
and i don’t put up any
decorations around
the house
i do tend to play a little
more slayer in late october
though
©2022 J.J. Campbell All rights reserved.
J.J. Campbell (1976 – ?) is currently trapped in suburbia, plotting his escape. He’s been widely published over the last quarter century, much to the chagrin of many of his detractors. You can find him most days on his mildly entertaining blog, evil delights. (https://evildelights.blogspot.com)