Christmas Spirit
I usually don’t get the Christmas spirit
Until Christmas eve. Then I party and
Sometimes even drop by a church
Although I’m a heathen and never was
Sold on immaculate conception.
Just as willing to welcome Python’s
Baby Brian as Baby Jesus. Still, it’s
A jolly time, even at the bar. Never
Got anything good from Santa. Good
Stuff was for other people. Well,
Other than a few times I found a
Fine woman who didn’t want to
Spend the night alone. Once, I
Stayed up late with a shotgun to pay
That fat bastard back for all the
Disappointment he’d caused me
Over the years. Liquored up, I fell asleep.
The sound of the blast when my finger
Slipped on the trigger freaked me out.
Oh, yeah, I was gonna deck the halls
With Santa’s balls. He got lucky.
Me. I had to explain the damage to
The fireplace to my landlord.
©2021 Daniel S. Irwin All rights reserved.
Daniel S. Irwin was born, raised, and is back in town at Sparta, Illinois. His card reads: Artist, Actor, Writer, Soldier, Scholar, Priest. He has won awards for his art, acting (over 100 films and 30+ stage productions), writing (nine books and work published in over one hundred magazines and journals worldwide), retired military (Air Force and Army), graduate of Southern Illinois University/Carbondale and has attended four other universities), and is an ordained Dudeist priest with a Ph.D. in Divinity (not bad for a heathen). Once worked as a medic in an institution for the criminally insane…but didn’t notice anything strange about the inmates. Latest online work can be found on Horror, Sleaze, Trash Magazine and Beatnik Cowboy. He would love to move back to Europe but fears the plague.