A Southern Colloquy
There’s a dead cow on McSpadden Lane with its ear tag
lopped off. Too sick to stand, she was probably
dragged here by a chain-link fastened to a towbar. I tried
calling the county switchboard, but they suggested I find
a local farmer with a front loader who can haul away
large animals. And unless it’s blocking the roadway,
they claim to lack the resources to transfer a cow or any
large carcass. Can anyone share some advice?
Well, considering it’s a cow, I’d call the game warden
or call the livestock commission. Cows are not cheap;
surely some farmer will notice a missing cow? Most likely
it was hit by a car, but you might try calling
the Veterinary schools, too. Since they work with
heavy animals, they might have a solution. Then again,
you can always just burn it. A carcass burns well with
a low combustion fuel such as diesel or kerosene—
but keep a couple fire extinguishers handy!
Hmmm . . .
Before it contaminates the well water, I think I’ll call
the county again. I’ve heard they have a trailer—so-called
Dead Wagon—that they drag around to farms picking up
dead cattle to cut back on contamination . . . but this . . .
this dead cow dumped on McSpadden is far-flung from
the lowings of the family farmstead or the yammering
cries of the auction house. This is about malice, the making
of a true crime, a nastiness that transcends cruelty.
Okay, I really hate to make light of all this calamity,
but one of the crazies in Rockford had a cow die. He then
tied it to the tailgate of his F-150 and drove up and down
the freeway around Nails Creek Road. When stopped,
he explained that he was trolling for coyotes. The Sheriff
ordered him to cease. And after that, he began pulling
the carcass up the street to where he placed it in front
of a local pub, the same pub that evicted him for bad
behavior. Tacked a note on it: Weekly Meat Delivery.
©2024 Keith Gorman All rights reserved.
Keith Gorman is a poet, guitarist, and retired factory worker living near the foothills of The Great Smoky Mountain National Park in Eastern Tennessee. His poetry has appeared or is forthcoming in the I-70 Review, The Delta Review, The California Quarterly Review, Chiron Review, Cajun Mutt Press, Rye Whiskey Review, Disturb the Universe Magazine, Plainsongs Magazine, and Muddy River Poetry Review.
