CASH JUST FALLING FROM THE SKY

I was at the gas station
observing a slot machine
that wasn’t being played
a video came
on its screen
of all this money
just falling from the sky
like it’s that easy
like I would just be showered
with cash
I mean how dumb
do they think I am
I thought to myself
as I slid a twenty in

Derek Chauber Blues

I’m naming you Derek
with some stupid ass
made up last name
that sounds like you
and your stupid ass

I’m about the same age as you were
when you started dating my mother-
single mom with a son
who was just a little smarter
than you cared for

but anyway you’re mine now
and the substitution of your real name to Derek comes
because Derek was the
first name of a
bully in my
shit show youth
you came on your limp horse to save

but you were an adolescent in adulthood and I was a grown up in a kids world
couldn’t understand that shit could ya?

I’d been through too fucking much
to just piss it away
on some tennis court
with you
spending “ quality time“
what the fuck did two strangers need to spend quality time for?
no wonder I destroyed all my racquets

what the fuck are you even doing here? was my preeminent thought at the time

you’d pick on me you fuckin bully
you’d brag about your intelligence
whip out words you thought I didn’t understand
when it was just you and me
your
jackass farted on my face
with
cutting undermining
words
cutting the cheese
of your childishness

and pathetic you
at my mother‘s bedside pleading
what can I do to please you
what can I do to please you
you had your manhood taken
and you looked at me
to do something about it

your comic book collection couldn’t convince me you weren’t a conman at heart always putting yourself first

yeah I’m your age now
but I must say I learned much from you
I’ll never have my dick cut off by a woman
I’ll never whine to another person‘s child
I’ll never have the nerve to show up in somebody’s life
that I don’t belong in

FUCK

I was sitting at this metal picnic table
and there it was
scratched onto the top
the way it was written
was like it was slurred on there
the embodiment, the meaning of my life-
FUCK
scrawled in giant letters
it wasn’t original but neither is life
it was crass but so is being alive
FUCK- the world’s last words on the matter
FUCK-all this suffering subconsciously uttered
FUCK- no wonder the word is defiling
public property everywhere