You Are Welcome

Put out your arm
Let me tie you off
Watch the veins pop up
nice and fat
This will only hurt for a second

The rush is so strong
you almost can’t stand it
Your mouth goes dry
Your skin feels hot
You can’t lift your arms

No need to thank me now
You’ll curse me later
when the hunger consumes
your moral compass
You will do anything
to feel that sting
one more time

You are welcome

---

The White Noise Is Deafening

Sometimes the cacophony
of random thoughts
is unbearable
It leaks into the edges
of my vision
and I find myself blind
Too weak to see
The noise too loud to hear

I do not hear voices
but they are there
forlorn consumed by sadness
urging me to listen
The sharp inhale
as the knife touches skin
The first drop of blood
as it lands on the page
The gentle thud
as I hit the floor
too weak to stand

Sitting in a dark room
in total silence
with eyes closed
there is still too much light
Nothing fades to black
There still too much sound
the white noise is deafening

---

Patient Health Questionnaire – 9 (PHQ 9)

They read you these statements like
“Little interest or pleasure in doing things”
and you’re supposed to answer
Not at all
Several days
More than half the days
Nearly every day

It feels like the whole thing
is one big mind fuck
No matter how I answer
I’m leaving in an ambulance

Dan Holt is a singer/songwriter/recording artist, poet and fiction author from a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. He has produced 11 albums of original music along with various singles and eps. His poetry has been published widely in the online and print small press, and he is the author of Blank Canvas On Bloody Pavement and Motel (both from Alien Buddha Press and available on Amazon). He was a Pushcart Prize nominee in 2021.