Conscience
He was shuffling along, shoulders hunched.
As I caught up with him, he turned towards me,
sad-eyed, filthy, a long matted beard
hiding most of his grimy face, hands in pockets.
He is one of the many indigents in Seville
yet he never wheedles or sticks his hand out.
The sight of him would move anyone to pity.
I stopped next to him and motioned him to wait
as I fumbled in my purse for some money.
When I gave him a few coins, enough for coffee,
his eyes lit up as if he had won the lottery.
He thanked me effusively and I walked on.
When I arrived home to my comfortable flat,
I regretted I’d given so little. I could afford more.
I felt like Galdós’s character, Torquemada,
who had given his cape to a beggar in the street
only after returning home to change the new cape
he’d been wearing for an older, shabbier one.
For weeks, I was on the lookout for him.
To right a wrong or salve my conscience?
I searched the Alameda at different times of day.
He was nowhere to be seen. He’d vanished.
The man intrigued me. He seemed too proud to beg.
He was indigent but dignified despite his scruffiness
and desperation at trying to survive in utter poverty.
Eventually, I stopped keeping an eye out for him
and then today, out of the blue, there he was!
I caught up with him and called out. He stopped,
recognized me and smiled. When I handed him
a banknote, he became emotional, expressed
his gratitude warmly and patted me on the arm.
His heartfelt thanks contrasted with my clumsy
attempts to pass my gesture off as nothing
even though I did feel I had made amends
and brought a sliver or a glimmer of happiness
into the life of at least one homeless man.
We all need each other, but for different reasons.
©2024 Tony Dawson All rights reserved.
Tony Dawson is an English writer who was born in the East End of London in 1937 and has lived in Spain since 1989. He has been published widely both in print and online in the UK and the USA, and in print in Australia. His first collection of poetry, Afterthoughts, was released through Cyberwit in June 2023 and reviewed by Charles Rammelkamp here:
https://londongrip.co.uk/2023/06/london-grip-poetry-review-tony-dawson/
His second collection, Musings, was published by Impspired in December 2023 and also reviewed by Charles Rammelkamp here:
https://londongrip.co.uk/2023/12/london-grip-poetry-review-tony-dawson-2/?fbclid=IwAR0QMCUFIeHmZeLwUEX0JctBGk6MxqprqVcHpWmOFg9Un4SUeqocEf0Le-0