Andrew Jackson’s Parrot
The daily trivia quiz asked
about the vulgar pet parrot
that disrupted the funeral of a president,
with a list of four to choose from –
Jackson, Truman, Roosevelt, Washington;
Andrew Jackson the obvious answer.
The former president buried at The Hermitage,
his Nashville mansion, Jackson’s bird Poll swore like a sailor,
repeating words it had obviously learned from its owner.
Guests at the somber occasion aghast,
disturbed, horrified; the bird removed.
What had it said?
No record of what it actually said exists, of course,
but I like to think, it squawked,
“You murderous fucking piece of shit!
I hope you rot in hell for the cruelty
of your shitty ‘Trail of Tears,’
the suffering you caused,
you motherfucking prick.
I hope every Creek and Seminole
you encounter in the Afterlife
shits and pisses all over
your cocksucking worthless soul.
The ‘Indian Removal Act’ should be shoved up
your useless asshole every fucking second throughout eternity,
and I hope it hurts like hell.”
©2022 Charles Rammelkamp All rights reserved.
Charles Rammelkamp is Prose Editor for BrickHouse Books in Baltimore. Two full-length collections were published in 2020, Catastroika, from Apprentice House, and Ugler Lee from Kelsay Books. Also, a poetry chapbook, Mortal Coil, was published by Clare Songbirds Publishing.