Woody Skid Marks
We grew up together,
Woody and his sister,
Sweet Farts when she
cut the cheese it was
a candy store delight
Sweety and I had been
pleasing each other for
ages, but we saw others,
Woody never wiped his
Ass correctly, but he
could raise wood and
keep his hammerheads
smiling all night long
Woody got a job as a
bouncer at a strip joint,
the cover was only $3,
this little motherfucker
Refused to pay, he left
in a huff and came back
and opened fire on Woody,
he hit him with 17 slugs
That lead cost him way
more than 3 measly bucks,
the shooter got 20 years
Woody collected for life
He got a beautiful ass wiper
with 4 sisters, all top shelf,
his dick remained occupied
and his bank account bulged
Sweet Farts and I fled to
Mexico, until she passed gas
outside Casa Azul, a fat cop
vanished with her in a hot air
balloon and the ghost of Frida
Kahlo whistled and smiled at me.
©2022 Catfish McDaris All rights reserved.
Catfish McDaris has been in many magazines, books, and broadsides. He’s a 30-year small press and 3-year Army artillery veteran, from Albuquerque and Milwaukee. He works in a wig store in a dangerous neighborhood. Second day on the job, a lady dropped her purse and a loaded 357 rolled out on the floor, pointed at him. He was nominated for a 2021 Pulitzer, but didn’t make the final cut.